You Might Be An American Man If...

Usually this blog is pretty serious. But sometimes you have to share your less serious thoughts as well.

Here are a few reasons one might deduct that you are an American man.

1. Your favorite TV stars are named Stephen A. and Skip

2. You don't eat dessert, you drink dessert

3. V8 is an engine configuration, not an ingredient in said drink

4. Bacon has at least eight times the "delicacy" rating of caviar

5. A conversation with a wife or girlfriend should be structured in one of two ways

• Subject
• Body
• Conclusion

OR:

• Problem
• Bad Word
• Solution

6. A movie should be structured in one of three ways

• Fast 
• Loud
• Win

OR:

• Fight
• Lose
• Fight More
• Win

OR:

• Nice Girl
• Bad Guy
• Bad Guy Dies
• Win

7. Music should have a purpose. Either:

• Help Work Out
• Help Relax

Remind Of The "Good Old Days" (Nostalgia)

• Encourage Intimacy With Wife
• Prevent Road Rage
• Encourage Road Rage

OK, that's enough for the moment. If you don't see yourself in at least two of these points, chances are you arrived here on a boat...recently. Or you are a member of the more excellent sex.