Thankful For What?

Most of the Thanksgiving celebrations of my past have been similar to one another. Get together, play football, watch football, eat, talk about what we're thankful for, etc. Yesterday was a little bit different.

Now that several of my younger siblings have reached or are nearing adulthood, thanksgiving, and all other holidays, have to be flexible to a lot of different factors. Things like more extended families, friends, significant others, grandparents, all need to be catered to.

In the process, some of our priorities have to change. I have to miss almost all of the football, my mom has to wait for everyone to arrive on differing schedules, my brothers have in-laws and extended family with their own schedules and priorities as well.

Then, finally, we're all together in one room. Three young children are running and jumping across the furniture. And this can't be done without screams of delight. The older kids are starving from anticipation of the feast they've been waiting all day to consume. The teenagers are cracking stupid jokes to alleviate the possible tensions that could arise from the fact that all of the adults are already exhausted. The marathon that is a holiday in a large and growing family is beginning to take its toll.

We are united for a brief prayer of thanks, which in a family so large, some don't even know is happening. The toddlers pray out loud in the background, trying to repeat every word that comes from their grandfather's mouth. His voice is not loud, so sometimes you have to strain a little to hear his prayer over the boisterous voices of the children. Is not even this sacred? But it is. And perfect.

Of course there are those who would prefer more structure, more formality in the process. But their thoughts must be ignored as tradition is sacrificed on the alter of pure joy and togetherness. Nobody has to pause the festivities to go around the table and express, "Something I'm thankful for." It's all here, being poured out in love and laughter and silly songs from a four-year-old in the background.

As I look around I am reminded that there is no secret formula to the perfect family dinner. There is no way to keep two-year-old cousins at the table, not playing and squealing, for more than about three minutes. There's no way to properly exclude friends or significant others as if you are protecting some sacred family rite, that requires marriage to penetrate its secret happenings.

The doors must be open, the lights must be on, and the fun must be unhindered. Are we ruining tradition by being flexible? Are we failing to make memories by not all sitting down or getting up at the same times? Are we missing something magical by not scheduling a series of events that revolves around making one person feel special?

I have so much to be thankful for. This year just as every year before.

But I realized again last night how thankful I am to have parents who realize that life, tradition, family, faith...it's all about people. We are called to love and serve one another. Our faith is best demonstrated in love for each other.

My mother's holiday dinner isn't designed to be a traditional "Matriarch-centered" event. It is loosely structured to meet the needs and desires of her family and their friends, and she derives her joy from being able to meet those needs.

My father's holiday traditions are not to be seen or heard in a loud pious voice, establishing his dominance or superior maturity or ownership of the situation. It is to quietly meet the needs of his children and grandchildren and he derives joy from seeing them happy and blessed.

This picture is a description of two separate Thanksgiving dinners. One with my family, and one with my wife's. While the personalities vary slightly, the heart is the same.

I was overwhelmed last night with the realization of how truly blessed I am. No matter how difficult life becomes, no matter how foreboding tomorrow may be, I am surrounded by people who will help me, who will pick me up when I fall, and who will not let me fail.

My dream as I sit here this morning is this. There are many who did not have this experience yesterday. Many children in broken families, many families without a meal. I want to find a way to take some of those people in, and make them a part of a family like mine. Maybe the Lord will show me how to do that one day soon.

If I Could Change One Thing

I was reminded this morning of how selfish I am. This happens fairly often, really. I become so caught up in what I can do to make myself successful, or meet some need or want for myself or my family, that the world around me becomes a crazy blur.

There is so much that I take for granted, so much that I am unhappy or discontented with. And yet there are so many around me whose struggles and sufferings put my inconveniences to shame.

I started this blog because I realized one thing specifically. I have committed to write every day in order to build a successful business. I used to write all the time, and now I'm kind of moving back in that direction. But if I can write for several hours a day for my business, even if my business is designed to help people, I should be able to write something just to encourage someone for 30 minutes a day.

This does not mean that I fancy myself some kind of guru or spiritual expert. But maybe something I'm learning can help someone else in the process. That's the reason for the name of this blog. I am not an expert. Honestly, anyone who thinks he is an expert on spiritual matters probably views himself too highly. God is too big. But there are simple things that we should know and operate in that are helpful.

So, as I learn them or am reminded of them, I'd like the privilege of sharing them with you.

Here are today's thoughts:

If I could change one thing-

If I could change one thing,

I would have said that prayer.

But I forgot to think of that friend,

When I professed to care.

If I could change one thing,

I would have made that call,

But yesterday was about me,

That's why I dropped the ball.

If I could change one thing,

I would have found some cash,

But I was busy looking down my nose,

And trying to save my stash.

"He'd probably drink it anyway,"

So I justified my thinking,

But what business was it of mine,

If he spent it eating or drinking.

Was I afraid some other prick

Would see me lend a hand?

God forbid I step outside 

My comfort to feed a man.

Or was I just uncomfortable

To see someone in need

"If I don't look right at him,

He won't see my heart of greed."

The problem was it was his need

Not mine that it would fill

And I've got eyes for only one

That's me again, and still.

And what about that friend

That I just don't have time to call

"What can I do, just listen?"

So I find a way to stall.

But maybe that was just the thing

He needed all along.

Someone who could hear him cry,

Pick him up, or just stay strong.

If I could change one thing,

It wouldn't be my looks or skill.

It would be my heart for others

To see their needs, their wants, their will.

I can look at me and Jesus,

And think I'm doing pretty swell

But He said, "What you do for THEM,

You do for me as well."

If I could change one thing,

It wouldn't be about what I say,

It would be to look at others first

And prove it, here, today.

-Joey

Check out Matthew 25:31-46.

It's so easy to live day-to-day, thinking about ourselves. What do I need to get accomplished, how do I feel, who hurt my feelings, how was my day at work? It becomes extremely difficult to even remember that other people exist.

But when we do see the people around us and the lives we represent, we still think of them in terms of how they relate to us. Typically that means judging them based on their appearance, their accent, their situation, or something they say around us or to us directly. We are primed to pass judgement based upon how their existence affects the world we live in, with ourselves being the center of that universe.

Therefore we make decisions about people based on how they make us feel, who they remind us of, etc. By the time we're done judging what benefit they are to us, we have missed any opportunity to be of some benefit to them! 

I realized yesterday while looking at a homeless man that I was just as human as he was. I realized that everyone I know is capable of being homeless. We're all subject to making a bad decision or simply being a victim of someone else's bad decision. 

It wasn't my responsibility to assess the cause or validity of his situation. It was my responsibility to show the love of Jesus with the information I had, in the situation as it presented itself. This guy was standing on the corner looking forward to a 30 degree night on the street. I was not. 

There was not a lot I could do, and I did not do enough. This is where my responsibility for my own needs and my own success comes in. I should be pursuing success, wealth even, so that in situations like that, I can do a whole lot more. Not so that I can ride around in big cars, dress the way I want to, play golf every day, or build the Windsor Castle (check it out, it's amazing lol). So that when I am presented with a need, I can meet it.

But this cannot wait until I'm wealthy. I must be faithful in the small opportunities as they present themselves every day, if I expect to be entrusted with something greater.

Anyway, I know I've rambled along for a while. Take it for what it's worth. I don't know much. I just know what I'm being presented with today, so I thought I'd share.