Thankful For What?

Most of the Thanksgiving celebrations of my past have been similar to one another. Get together, play football, watch football, eat, talk about what we're thankful for, etc. Yesterday was a little bit different.

Now that several of my younger siblings have reached or are nearing adulthood, thanksgiving, and all other holidays, have to be flexible to a lot of different factors. Things like more extended families, friends, significant others, grandparents, all need to be catered to.

In the process, some of our priorities have to change. I have to miss almost all of the football, my mom has to wait for everyone to arrive on differing schedules, my brothers have in-laws and extended family with their own schedules and priorities as well.

Then, finally, we're all together in one room. Three young children are running and jumping across the furniture. And this can't be done without screams of delight. The older kids are starving from anticipation of the feast they've been waiting all day to consume. The teenagers are cracking stupid jokes to alleviate the possible tensions that could arise from the fact that all of the adults are already exhausted. The marathon that is a holiday in a large and growing family is beginning to take its toll.

We are united for a brief prayer of thanks, which in a family so large, some don't even know is happening. The toddlers pray out loud in the background, trying to repeat every word that comes from their grandfather's mouth. His voice is not loud, so sometimes you have to strain a little to hear his prayer over the boisterous voices of the children. Is not even this sacred? But it is. And perfect.

Of course there are those who would prefer more structure, more formality in the process. But their thoughts must be ignored as tradition is sacrificed on the alter of pure joy and togetherness. Nobody has to pause the festivities to go around the table and express, "Something I'm thankful for." It's all here, being poured out in love and laughter and silly songs from a four-year-old in the background.

As I look around I am reminded that there is no secret formula to the perfect family dinner. There is no way to keep two-year-old cousins at the table, not playing and squealing, for more than about three minutes. There's no way to properly exclude friends or significant others as if you are protecting some sacred family rite, that requires marriage to penetrate its secret happenings.

The doors must be open, the lights must be on, and the fun must be unhindered. Are we ruining tradition by being flexible? Are we failing to make memories by not all sitting down or getting up at the same times? Are we missing something magical by not scheduling a series of events that revolves around making one person feel special?

I have so much to be thankful for. This year just as every year before.

But I realized again last night how thankful I am to have parents who realize that life, tradition, family, faith...it's all about people. We are called to love and serve one another. Our faith is best demonstrated in love for each other.

My mother's holiday dinner isn't designed to be a traditional "Matriarch-centered" event. It is loosely structured to meet the needs and desires of her family and their friends, and she derives her joy from being able to meet those needs.

My father's holiday traditions are not to be seen or heard in a loud pious voice, establishing his dominance or superior maturity or ownership of the situation. It is to quietly meet the needs of his children and grandchildren and he derives joy from seeing them happy and blessed.

This picture is a description of two separate Thanksgiving dinners. One with my family, and one with my wife's. While the personalities vary slightly, the heart is the same.

I was overwhelmed last night with the realization of how truly blessed I am. No matter how difficult life becomes, no matter how foreboding tomorrow may be, I am surrounded by people who will help me, who will pick me up when I fall, and who will not let me fail.

My dream as I sit here this morning is this. There are many who did not have this experience yesterday. Many children in broken families, many families without a meal. I want to find a way to take some of those people in, and make them a part of a family like mine. Maybe the Lord will show me how to do that one day soon.